Fight For Inches...

Survival

2010-01-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

I am strangely proud of the fact I think I am coming to age in my declining age. I was talking to a good friend after my BJJ class about athletic endeavors at our age (i.e. post 35). He was a great athlete, heck we were great athletes in College and the Army and I explained that when all you remember about yourself in your youth is success, when you take a break from formal sports, you appreciate you are out of shape, but your mind doesn't really accept the change. I outlined I was finally in a good place per my recovery of my second injury- I feel I'm close to graduating from the destructive process of aligning my mental sense of self in sports with my physical reality. It is a good thing- I do believe that even with future injuries I have the mindset to endure, to survive. The best advice I have for a person in their 20's who are in sport is to never stop training, participating- if you burn out per one sport, change activities- a person who loved sport in their youth will forever be incomplete with out it and the easiest path is to retain the abilities you have. If you were like me and took a long hiatus- get back into whatever you enjoyed. It won't be a fun journey 100% of the time, but focus adaption and persistent. Recognize you won't be the best - but you can be your best and that is enough.

When I started BJJ- I immediately craved competition. I wanted to be the best in my age group and I started to obsess. Granted, with 3 x Midgets, a very full time job and competing responsibilities in my community I had to go back to the basic prioritization of Physical Fitness then BJJ- this is the priority that remains to day. If I am going to stay fit for Family, for reducing career stress- remaining injury free is a high priority. So I do BJJ for fitness and thus I must approach it so I can survive. This doesn't imply you can't be competitive- you just have to establish a very deliberate, technical path to success. For example- I've lost 5-8lbs since I got injured. I can tell the weigh is off, even out of shape w/ less mat awareness- I feel purty good. My mat sense and timing are off- but reading up on BJJ, coming to class to just sit and watch when I could- I can tell that really helped. Although I'm not 100% and can't go full bore- I force myself to Gi-Up, do conditioning, do some basic drills, just stay in the rhythm of the class- it is humbling, can even be embarrassing not being up to par w/ everyone else- but even this humility is a good exercise to train the spirit and reinforce my sense of self. I feel at the end of this journey- I will be stronger and will have a better / stronger game and will persist. In BJJ past your prime you really can't think of the next rank and it is really unfathomable to think of achieving one's Black Belt. A Black Belt is feasible- but it is an exercise of committment and persistence. My goal, isn't a Black Belt per se- but to persist, to have a comprehensive tool set where I can adjust/adapt per my circumstances and establish reasonable parity with whomever I am training with. The key to success in this regard is survival, to not get injured to come every day I can train and train and incrementally succeed.

On the path to Recovery.

2010-01-12T04:35:00.000-08:00

My two month classroom hiatus ended last night with me gi'ing up and actively participating in class again. I injured my shoulder- it was first diagnosed as a partial rotator cuff tear and I had to take an MRI to verify and then we, positively, learned it was more my bursa (whatever all these things are) and a cortisone shot was recommended with physical therapy. Unfortunately, the biggest snow storm in ages kicked in and I went a bit overboard with the activities and maybe compromised the positive effects of the shot, e.g. shoveling & snowblowing over 5 x driveways (I have many elderly neighbors) and the respective sidewalks, sledding, snow fort/man opns with my midgets, biking (poor attempt) and a great 6+ mile XC Skiing through the community. I realized I was pushing it for the weekend when my shoulder started to ache a bit. Anyway, I'm in Physical Therapy learning quite a bit- I'm really paying attention to the exercises which I can do every day and will help me with Injury Prevention in the long run.

I have to confess- in November, realizing a SECOND show stopping injury in a year, I felt like it was time to hang up the Gi, that at then 38 (now 39) I'm too old for this sport. However, I really love this sport- I thought I liked martial arts before- but BJJ has proven to be all the things all the years of Combatives really didn't live up to, i.e. effective! Plus, after 2-years I'm still in the clueless phase. As a blue belt, I think you understand enough to survive to a certain extent, you are familiar w/ the positional hierarchy (or at least you should be) and a respective understanding of base & posture, have a tool kit of basics to work your way up and down the ladder with an array of submits here and there.

Last night the class began with a bit of frustration doing some guard drills- I was hasty, wasn't paying attention to my partners attacks and worked straight to trying to execute a sweep. I failed and my guard was passed (jammed my thumb also)- I rethought what I was doing and focused on making sure folks didn't get their grips, breaking posture and just settling into the flow of things again. Overall, it wasn't too bad of an evening- I almost got a triangle choke on a purple belt- he was passing my guard, I set up my right knee for the triangle on his shoulder and was able to get into the position. I had a hard time moving my hips so I could work to secure the triangle, but managed that and was able to look it in, however, the purple belt secured his chin to defeat the choke and worked a purty good escape. I wasn't excited about my seemingly relative success against a purple belt- he is someone who works his weak points in class, so I knew he was taking risks and thus my success. I'm just happy I was able to execute a plan. After class and icing my shoulder I reviewed some guard basics- I did a good job defeating folks securing grips, but I think I need to add some Gi Choke threats/attacks to ease set up breaking posture and ultimately going for a sweep. Just gotta get into the rhythm of things again.

I have 4-8 weeks of real recovery with my shoulder (because I'm old) so I've concluded that I'm really going to focus on my guard in this time and this year.

It is good to be back in a mood of working towards success. Injuries have a greater mental impact when you are older. It is one thing to get injured, however, recovery is much longer and two things happened to me- one the shocking realization of my vulnerability. I was a great athlete in my youth- I know this from my success in competition and just being an Airborne, Ranger Certified Infantry Officer demands quite a bit of a person. You learn how slow/weak you get in sport typically by failing to perform and or getting hurt. The second thing that comes with this awareness of vulnerability is self doubt. Once you learn how to train successfully and get results, you get a confidence in training and performing under pressure which erases doubt. I would only doubt myself under pressure if I didn't train enough or failed to succeed in a facet of training- however, it isn't that simple with age. Since my arm was out of action, I trained my lower body and strained my left knee in the process in November- that did nothing but to compound my sense of vulnerability and self doubt to whether or not I need to focus on more passive sports- like Mountain Biking. Master Dalla helped me stay focused and gave me some insight into how to change my game via less reliance on athleticism and I focued on the future- "Fight for Inches", i.e. focused on proper diet so I wouldn't get fat while off the mat (lost 5-lbs in the two months) and I maintained conditioning where I could. I also forced myself to come to class when I could and watch others- this really helped to keep your mind in the game (and the peer support is good also).

The future of my BJJ progression is a greater emphasis on Joint flexibility, sustain conditioning and also focused on maintaining these small joint/muscle exercises and incorporating more Ice post training when I have a little ache. As an "Old Grappler" you have to make adjustments and balance competing demand, e.g. Family, Work, Civic Duties (ack I volunteered be the Neighborhood Watch Coordinator), Physical Fitness, Grappling and FaceBook and XBOX - LOL...fight for inches.

Saulo Ribeiro's Jiu-Jitsu University

2009-11-03T18:16:00.000-08:00

I've been busy and neglecting the blog action of late, but I'm going to try and get back on my game and post at least once a week. In my hiatus, I continue to balance training with the challenges of Age, Work, Family and other life Challenges.

First and most importantly, my MMA School has a new location and schedule. It is really nice to NOT be training out of a Gym Racket Ball court and having significant floor space to liberally roll- plus it has much better air circulation! The good old days of training in human sweat created atmosphere are hopefully over. The new location is in Woodbridge and it is quite easy for me to get to in the evenings even w/ DC traffic. If you live in the DC Metro Area and you want to learn bullet proof Jiu-Jitsu techniques then Dalla's studio is one of the, if not the best offering in the NoVa area. I've tried out a couple of schools before giving up two months paid tuition at a previous location to switch to Dalla's.

Although training continues to be disrupted with work related travel and family requirements, I find if mentally staying in the game and doing some basic conditioning and individual/dummy drills outside of the school I can maintain enough to steadily grow. When I come back after a week or two off I find myself physically challenged, but I feel I don't loose too much ground per my technical aptitude and I have a list of goals/experiments to test out on the mat. This has made it really rewarding for me in the face of life's challenges.

Per the blog post title - I have found this resource to be very useful: "Jiu Jitsu University" by Saulo Ribeiro. I've bought quite a few books to build my training framework (which I'll review in good time) - but this one stands out and is worth mentioning. I think the biggest challenge to learning BJJ is that there is no simple technique Matrix out there for folks to focus their training on. The Gracie system has their 30 odd baseline techniques- but I view BJJ from a X-axis of the positional hierarchy (per how you want to define it) and a Y-axis of transitional techniques and submissions that work for you. Etching out your personalized BJJ technical framework is no minor task and this book by Saulo is a good reference to compliment your school house training and also inform how you should focus your training as you grow, i.e. SURVIVAL, ESCAPES and then SUBMISSIONS.

In this book Saulo breaks down BJJ by rank based perspective, i.e. White Belt - Survival, Blue Belt - Escapes, etc. It will be obvious that your classroom instruction won't parallel how he has laid out techniques- I just focus on the underlying rank based philosophy, e.g. as a white belt understand the basic survival strategies for respective positions. Per my experience as a white belt- just knowing enough on how not to get submitted readily allows you to get a frame of reference of what is going on. I like how, as a blue belt, focusing on my escapes and progression up the positional hierarchy in class. When we get a chance to free spar I'm all about getting into a less dominant position and working my way up to the Mount. I really don't focus too much on Gi submits and submitting in general unless someone wants to give me one- I'm just focused on solid escapes and advancing up the hierarchy. My perspective is that getting the 360 degree situational awareness to feel good positional transitions will allow me to better focus on submissions when I get to that point (likely very mature Blue Belt / Purple Belt). Pragmatically, I find aligning my training focus w/ this reference allows for my progress in class. Many of the White Belts are focused on being Submission Artists w/out positional foundation- even out of shape, I find controlling the position game vastly eliminates submission opportunities. I typically go for a subordinate position when sparring w/ White and Blue belts and work my way up the hierarchy. When I roll w/ Advanced Belts the good one's typically have something they are working on and I work against the puzzle and traps they are giving me and do my best. I find I have a harder time rolling w/ Advanced Belts who want to just feel me out- I really don't have a strong BJJ offensive game plan just yet. My approach to BJJ is to compliment my MMA - so when I see I can punch, that's what I'm thinking offensively. I see Grappling as my plan B in a real fight scenario.

In summary, I'd give Saulo Ribeiro's offering 4 out of 5 x Stars, a must have for a beginner's out of class reference. Saulo's book has achieved a notable position as a permanent reference that sits by my bed stand and I review it for solutions to something I encountered in class and/or reinforce key points of a technique. I also take it w/ me on longer work related travel ventures:

Pros - a systemic summary of critical Jiu Jitsu perspectives respective to Rank, which Saulo truly associates to a practioner's maturity in the sport. Lower belts are focused on survival and escapes and higher belts on submission and defeating one's opponents. The book has great illustrations and is on Par w/ the quality of most solid MMA offerings.

Cons - I feel this is more biased to the Gi-based, BJJ sport practioner. Saulo references competition more then real combat and if you are focused on MMA and Street Fighting I recommend you assess each technique or solution for their all around effectiveness.

I'll post another review in a few months/years as I get deeper into the book at a pragmatic level. This review reflects 6 x Months of wiggling around in the White/Blue belt chapters w/ an occasional foray into the Purple Belt section.

More later.

38 going on 39 New Game Plan!

2009-10-06T18:51:00.000-07:00

It is a bit shocking to realize you are 38 and going on 39 and doing Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu! I have to travel on a monthly basis and my routine can be disrupted with 1-2 weeks off the Mat- which has it impacts. I suffered a string of injuries from approaching the Mat with too competitive of an attitude- the results partial torn ligament in writs (12 x weeks), strained shoulder and strained groin - LOL!

Injuries and Age almost encouraged me to "act my age" and focus on endurance sports- however, I decided to commit to another year of training with a different game plan:

1. Fitness and Strength is not an option. I have been blessed with some natural aptitude and ability and I find mentally I lean on this and can force opportunities w/ brawn versus technique with less and equally inexperienced practitioners. Jiu-Jitsu is the soft art, the art of yielding and thus I focus on yielding and attempting "solutions."
2. Winning is improving not "beating" my class mates. It is easy to fall into a competitive mindset where rolling is judge by number of submissions and sustaining a dominant position. I know focus on improving my game- I like starting from positions of disadvantages and moving up the hierarchy- defending submission attempts and working my escapes. I also am not a big fan of Gi-based chokes and/or heavily using the Gi to advance- I just think you need more technique avoiding the Gi and this improves my game.
3. Finally- the goal is Mental health and fitness. I have challenged my fitness enough in life through sport, martial arts, life in the Infantry - which includes Airborne, Ranger Certification and then some. It is hard to admit I am older and I need to now factor in my constraints and formulate a winning game plan.

Overall this may seem hard to do- but it makes the challenge more so. Fitness will always decline, however, fitness alone doesn't define my capability.

I go to bed with sore ribs, recovering shoulder and groin anticipating another day on the mat.

Drilling...

2009-04-29T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm stuck back in out of class training mode. My Wife is about to deploy our third child and I really need to be at hand to ensure we avoid having a highway baby. The good news is a big and good friend of mine who loves martial arts is willing to come by twice this week and hopefully next to work out. He is new to the sport, i.e. Jiu-Jitsu, so the first couple of times we've trained he goes at it w/ the aggressive enthusiasm of a competitor which is all good, but no good for efficient learning so I change up our sessions so we would Drill.

Some folks think fighting and/or full throttle sparring is the only way to train- no this is the only way to polish and refine your combative skills. Near combative/competition level training is critical at the advanced levels but us novices really need to Drill, Drill and Drill so that we get some subconscious competencies and are able to compete/spar w/ perspective and thus grow. Here are some thoughts on the different kinds of drilling- I'll use the Army Proven "Crawl, Walk, Run, Race" decomposition.

Crawl Phase: Learning a new technique. I have seen it in stand up martial arts and see it in Jiu Jitsu- folks lack attention to detail and just focus on the "money shot" or submission. In Jiu-Jitsu the pre-condition is very important- who is in what relative position, what is the options available for each position and what "controls" or event pre-cedes the technique. I kinda call these details "site pictures" - just mental/physical images you have to learn/train so you know an opportunity for the technique exists. The next detail is what are the transitions to go from one set of controls to the next until you are in the position to submit, sweep, escape, etc. whatever is the goal of the technique. Thus you have to pay attention to these details before drilling. At this stage your partner is participative by being somewhat passive. The establish good baseline posture, but provide minimal resistance for you to take your time and progress through the technique to get a cognitive grasp of what the heck you are supposed to be doing. I believe in at lest doing the technique 3 to 5 times from one side, relatively slow to just get the mechanics right. The key detail, your partner isn't going- oh, I can do this or you are wondering how to defeat counters and what not- just focus on the technique in a box. If you don't get it- grab the instructor, get demonstrated on, but "crawl" until you have the mechanics down and can execute w/in your physical limitations.

Walk Phase: You partner still doesn't provide much assistance, granted, the partner is also training, they should be paying attention to what you are doing, what are the controls, what should be tight, what feels right, etc. Getting a cognitive perspective of what is occurring against them. You should be focused on achieving all the controls and transitions smoothly and really working on setting the foundation for smooth execution. You should get progressively faster/deliberate at this phase- this phase is focused on training mind/body, i.e. conditioning your self to move a bit more subconsciously. If you have a physical limitation- flexibility, lack of strength in muscles at a particular angle- this phase works all this out. Once you get to the point, you aren't thinking through each control/transition and can do things relatively smoothly - you are ready to run.

Run: This is competitive drilling- two stages. The first is partner is willing, but not permissive. Your partner will now seek to disrupt any lack of control or smooth transition created by you. This allows you refine precision a bit. The second phase is competitive drilling. Starting in the pre-condition and you and partner just going after different goals. You are trying to apply the technique, they are working a counter and escape. Once either of you achieve the contradictory goals- start over. You can also make this more complex by adding in multiple options- like some techniques have complimentary flowing techniques based on what is available and what gets shut down, e.g. Kimura- guillotine- knee bump from the guard...you try to work those in a constrained by competitive scenario.

Race: Is open sparring. You roll w/ a goal. Like I try to fight from the bottom w/ smaller folks and lower belts. I try to attack if w/ upper belts always from any position. If I get owned by something w/ an upper belt, I find a lower/white belt to roll w/ and put myself in the position of disadvantage again to figure out how to escape w/ a less informed talent.

The final stage is true competition or real fight scenario. I'm an OG, Old Grappler, and competition is a goal if/when I can work it in post my 50-hour work week, family opns and whatever... Granted, for younger folks- you need to compete. I have fortunately competed in my youth and, at least, have the mental advantages of competition. You should TRAIN in the DOJO- compete in competition. Lots of young folks roll w/ the perspective of winning/loosing. You should train- the focus is improving yourself, your technique- that means some days you may submit more then you get submitted; granted you should go into class knowing that is a goal. Like you are going to roll w/ less capable folks to refine your submissions or roll w/ better folks to work your escapes. If you train cognitively- I think you just grow faster.

This is the ideal break out of training- granted, not necessarily the way schools can be run because folks like variety and this can be BORING to some- LOL! Granted, I'm a fan of drilling, drilling and drilling. Drilling w/ condition is just a proven winning solution.

Recovery

2009-04-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was able to get in a light work out w/ "Bob," the submission dummy. I'm a big fan of this dummy. I bought a cheap judo gi for him and just drilling on the dummy is great for muscle memory and working conditioning. Again, it is not better then a real person, however, it is better then trying to work by yourself.

I also made two training aid investments- one is the TRX Training Straps. I don't have anymore floor space in my work out area because I gave it up for my 9 x 9 mats. This thing rocks. It hangs from the ceiling out of the way and I now have a strength conditioning tool. I travel for work and this can go with me- and I do work out on the road.

The other investment is a 90-lb Woody Bag. Primarily to do Power Cleans. I hate weight training, but love medicine balls and sand bag training. This isn't a ton of weight, but doing power cleans and should hoists are great total body work outs.

I like just doing simple full body exercises and I just need to build up my muscular endurance and power as I get old.

I'm also working depth. You watch videos and read books and get caught up in all these techniques and what not- but I realize I need to keep things simple and work a layered attack from each position. Just repeat and repeat and get solid on some straight forward techniques so I have a solid game throughout the positional hierarchy- it may be simple, but I have proven I am patient under pressure and I think this is the best way for me to go. I'm an old bastard and trying to learn everything is just too much.

I always think back to college and just curse the fact I didn't do the Judo Club versus the Karate Team (yes, I did well- ended up being the team captain)...but Judo would have been nice to be accomplished in. Then in 2004 I was working w/ a Jiu Jitsu brown- soon to be black belt. I just wasn't interested in sweating and hugging on a guy- my big mistake. Life is what it is and I should be thankful for this opportunity. I'll close w/ Eddie Bravo's chat on Work Ethic- I like it:

Great Individual Exercises that take minimal space

2009-04-14T12:50:00.001-07:00

I really liked this video:

My First BJJ Skill - Basic Guard Pass!

2009-04-11T13:03:00.000-07:00

Wow - approaching a year total of Jiu Jitsu and I can claim a skill competency. My definition of a "Skill" is technique, plus experience such that the application of proper technique is fairly unconscious. The next step is to apply some depth to my Guard Pass, i.e. come up w/ 3-4 alternatives that I just have down bullet proof. I've decided that my approach to Jiu Jitsu won't be lots of variety and/or flare, but a short list of solids- i.e. techniques I really understand. My stand up days were marked with fairly simple techniques and that seemed to work well enough.

Here is the key details per Guard Pass:

1. Obviously posture is everything- I like to stare at a virtual point above my opponents head. If you draw a virtual straight line across my hips, I try to keep the angle between my hips and an imaginary line to my head 90-degrees also. Most importantly, I like my posture to be relaxed- like a big bag of rice - tensing up gives your opponents more leverage to sweep you and break your posture.

2. Why I loved Dalla's class after the first instruction is learning this little detail. I was doing Jiu Jitsu somewhere else for 2 x months and was never educated on this nuance. Basically, while in your opponents guard, part of your posture/goal is to keep your inner thigh in contact w/ their hips. If you opponent can't create space between your thighs and his hips their options are limited- I try to never give up this space when establishing my grips and seeking to set up my Basic Guard Passe.

3. Double lapel grip vicinity of the sternum is solid, grip the label so that the angle of the cloth twist establishes the grip more so then just pure hand strength. The key here is to have the grip to the elbow act as a bar preventing them to rise up. It doesn't have to be tense, but just firm and relaxed at the bicep if feasible.

4. My second "grip" or rather control is just inside of the hip bone and betwee the groin w/ my elbow inside my opponents thigh. I don't attempt to pass until I get these two grips w/ solid hip control, If I can't get this solid- I may fake some passes to encourage my opponent to attack and just tire themselves out. Once they get some fatigue and or loose up I solidify my posture and proceed to pass.

5. Really good Jiu Jitsu folks can break my posture- if so, no big deal; keep your thighs in contact of their hips and keep the elbows inside. I base on my opponents torso if I have to or establish grips on their forearms or armpits- I try to never base to the ground because that gives your opponent lots of simple options to sweep or set up a submission.

6. The next step is to break their close guard- I do this by shifting my alignment off center opposite of my arm w/ the lapel grip. I do this by just shifting the respective knee back so per item 1 (slide, don't change elevation of your center of gravity while pulling this off), while simultaneously applying downward elbow pressure to muscle nerves of their inner thigh- my posutre is like 30-degrees off their center (imaginary line from their head to groin). This will create space, your label arm grip and same side thigh traps their hip against yours so they are hard pressed to wiggle away- their only option is to loosen up on the side you intend to pass and if the do, then use that opportunity to get into a crotch control position.

7. Establishing "Crotch Control" (not sure what else to call it). The second you get enough space on the side I intent to pass, you pop the same side knee up inside your opponents guard and keep your elbow fending off their thigh. This is a brief, firm position trapping the side you aren't passing on per item 6.

8. Passing Guard - from item 7. I just roll forward my center and put all my weight on my opponents crotch and passing leg. You don't want to rise up- just slide forward, knee rolling over their thigh, label grip side hips sliding up on their crotch, my alignment of head / groin shifts to the opposite side per item 6. so my weight is doing the work for me at this time. Sometimes if they seem to try and loosen up. I shift my label side grip down to the same side and use my elbow to control their hips/trap them while my weight is on top of them. If they get fancy w/ your feet, just sprawl and arch your back a bit flattening on the hips leg you are passing on to secure this position. YOu can go fast, but I'm old and tend to go slow- once I firm up their trapped hips and leg- I come back up to pass.

9. Wind Shield whiper - this is the most critical piece of avoiding half guard. Before you advance one leg to pass their guard, use the opposing leg foot to trap the leg they would use to establish half guard when you pass and then advance the same-side leg and then the other to side control. At this point, the opponent can spin outside and away to avoid side control, that is why you need to be mindful of keeping the far side hip trapped w/ their elbow. I use my shoulder to trap and upper body weight to pin their sternum so they can't spin out on me while establishing side control.

After all this time, establishing one solid technique really improves one's morale and opens up the doors to others. I've done this pass on a wide variety of body types and belt ranks, including purple belts (although I have to be more patient w/ these weenies). However, I use all my weight and focus on on the controls/transitions and it is getting more subconcious as time progresses. I also really focus on breathing while doing my jiu jitsue. I like to take regular paced breathes- if I get ahead of myself, I pause while in control and focus on breathing relaxed, so I ma relaxed and a big bag of rice/sugar is harder to contend w/ then a solid/tense mass- just less leverage and you know your opponent is bearing most of your weight. At times you should tense your mass, but that is when you are driving all your weight on a chosen contact patch w/ your opponent to enforce control.

Succeeding in one technique has opened my eyes and I'm already excited to work my depth in my pass and other facets of my game. It is also a combative skill because I understand my opponents options while doing this pass and I focus on closing those options. I also know what breaks up this pass option is if I my opponent keeps getting Gi Collar grips to threaten the choke, If I can't keep those off me, it is hard to work this pass (er, for me)- granted, once I get hip control the opponent seems to focus on their trapped hips and forgets to attack my lapel- anyway, only guessing here...but I feel vulnerable on this detail.

Vasectomy 101

2009-04-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

I find my focus derailed for a "minor" medical procedure- LOL! My Spousal Unit is an Operating Room (OR) Nurse and for years I've been asking her to proactively manage my health- yeah, got/get nothing! So a couple of months ago I get a meeting invite on my blackberry and it is a Consulting Appointment w/ a Doctor for a Vasectomy! We did talk about it, especially after our surprise third Midget and there was no doubt that per our age and finances we could likely handle no more. I decided I would outline my experiences because I really didn't find the Internet to be very helpful in understanding the recovery facets of this procedure.

The journey begins w/ a consulting appointment with your Doctor. Since this is a fairly permanent procedure you really need to know what you are getting into. However, if you are Married with a couple to three Midgets already the Doctor pretty much pencil drills the meeting because he is quite aware you have a clue about why you are looking for this permanent solution to Birth Control. I'm 12-years Married, as happily Married as a man can hope for and yet the no turning back facets of a Vasectomy had me wondering about never being to bless the hot, nubile 20 something I might find myself with if I happened to get a divorce. Aside from the fact this would never happen and I doubt I could afford even toilet paper after a divorce per my current situation you find yourself thinking through this scenario.

As for what is a Vasectomy- you can read up on that anywhere. I advise you don't. Just looking at the illustration of the procedure are enough to make you hesitate as I did the first time we talked about this post Midget 2 and now I have a Midget 3 pending in 4 x weeks. I quickly discovered Vasectomies are like discussing Masturbation in High School. Pretty much everyone was spanking their Monkeys but nobody was about to talk about it- I learned virtually 90% of my male friends, I mean good friends, folks I have known for years had Vasectomies! It is just nobody wants to talk about it. What I do know is you don't want to be conscious during the procedure, I think that is the only question you need to ask your Doctor. Most folks I talked to had some harrowing mental images of smelling their vas defrens getting cauterized (I told you not to read about it) or the sting of the local anesthetic being applied- not to mention the mental image of your legs spread wide w/ 2-3 folks focused on your crotch w/ sharp instruments. You want to have no memory of this trust me!

My experience was a good as it can get. I confess after my consult. I delayed a bit in scheduling- but ultimately the way I deal w/ apprehension (i.e. FEAR) is to just buckle down and get it over with. So I called and scheduled an appointment. You can't take any anti-inflammatories for 2 x weeks prior and they don't want you eating for 8-12 hours prior to the procedure if you are getting knocked out. I scheduled the procedure for a Thursday so I could have more then the recommended 48-hours to recover (more on this later). It is also good to get a couple of bags of peas and about 5 x days worth of snug briefs. You want the peas because those bags can really conform well- it was best solution. The snug underwear is also great during the swollen puffy balls phase.

After all the prep stuff- I found myself in pre-opn pajamas (exposed ass) and was being escorted into the OR. I was having fun of it up to that point, cracking jokes and what not- but seeing the table w/ these arm thingy's to strap you down like Jesus Christ and all the gear, I was like a bit nervouse. They strapped me down and then drugged me- now this was the most painful part of the experience. The IV was in the back of my hand and it felt like someone was stepping on my wrist. I was talking and then I went Blank! I HAVE NO FREAKING MEMORY OF ANYTHING ELSE- THANK YOU GOD! The next thing I remember was waking up in post surgery about 30-mins later. My Spousal Unit was there. My balls felt a bit numb and there you go. I had a couple glasses of juice and some animal crackers and got dressed and we left. Once I got home I kicked back to watch TV with ice on my balls. I was very surprised- it wasn't traumatic or anything and I didn't feel so bad at this point.

RECOVERY - okay, this is the important part. They tell you that it takes 48 hours to recover. Yes, it takes 48-hours for your tissue to technically regenerate/heal. However, it is like a week walking around w/ swollen and sore balls from hell!

The first 48-hours was really easy. I was on pain killer- Tylenol w/ Codeine. I stayed off my feet, watched UFC all day. Iced my Balls for like 30-mins on the hour. This is the only circumstance where icing your balls feels great. I emphasize - staying off your feet and icing the balls is the most critical thing you can do the first 48 hours. Also, per the pain killers you want to hit lots of fiber and drink tons of water because the worst thing about the first 48 hours was the medicine induced constipation! I was scared to have to force out a monkey tail and injure myself further- fortunately I was prepared w/ Meuslix and tons of water.

On the third day, I still felt the need to heavily ice my balls, but I stopped taking the pain killers because I wanted to see how I felt really and I really didn't enjoy not shitting for 48-hours. No real pain, just felt sore down there. I could walk a little bit- but per the press of return to activity after 48-hours, well not me! I guess if you put a gun to my head I could try, but my balls were just really sore and would really swell up if I didn't keep the ice on them. I tried to read up on recovery and found this article helpful here. I liked the idea of 4 x days of anti-inflammatory medication.

Ultimately it has taken 5 days after the first 48-hours to "turn the corner." I tried going to work on the fourth day, but was really uncomfortable and wanted to get home to ice my BALLs! Again, the pain was never above a 1.5 on a scale of 1:10, but it feels like you worked out your nutsack really hard and it is the deep, uncomfortable pain you get from sore muscles- like feeling. Swollen, Puffy Balls and just really sore feeling. My assessment and prescription for full recovery is:

48 hours of pain killers and constant ice
4 x days of anti-inflammatory medications and 2 x daily (minimum) icing session.
5-7 days of light activities. Walking, running errands, light stretching, etc.
2 - weeks of gradual increase to normal activities.

Specifically, I will go to watch Jiu Jitsu classes next week and play with my submission dummy, but on week 3 (while wearing a cup) I will attempt train w/ partners and just scale up from there. Pretty much everyone I talked to said it took about 4-6 weeks to fully recover. That their biggest mistake was to not take it easy and that made it worse.

I have to schedule another appointing in 6 weeks to make sure I'm on the path to firing blanks. You have to treat your piece like a live weapon until you are cleared for bare back action. Pay attention here- this is where folks screw up. I'm hoping the rest goes well so I can get back to normal operations.

Again- the pain was never over 1.5 on a scale of 1:10. The worst part is the forced idliness.

Sick Call!

2009-03-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

Finally on the recovery side of a minor cold. I got sick because I was going to bed late, waking up early and not exercising when my body told me I needed to and there you go. I decided to just drink water, jump on the tread mill and sweat it out- strangely that seems to work well. I remember back at the Academy really being sick on a Friday and on Saturday there was a unit run- if you did the unit run you could get out of Saturday Morning Inspection. It was either do that or get up and go to Sick Call which is a pain in itself. I woke up, very sick, did the 5-mile run. I drank a ton of water, ate breakfast and then took a long AM nap and woke up well rested and just well. This remedy doesn't seem to work well w/ fevers- but works purty will w/ colds.

Strangely, I kinda enjoy the tread mill. Since I started Jiu Jitsu I can can run a bit faster then I used to on it. Not too fast and more then 30-mins really sucks. Last weekend I took Jack out on the trail w/ his bike. It was strangely warm. I ran and he rode- it was a good match. I had to work! I'm definitely targeting the Back Yard Burn (BYB) runs by EX2 Adventure this fall. My knees can manage trail running and it is kinda soothing. With my cholesterol running is definitely a good hobby to help combat the blood chemistry. Plus- it seems easy to get to 230- 220-lbs is a fight and I think I need to focus my exercising on the cardio activities.

Beyond the Mat...

2009-03-06T17:43:00.000-08:00

Wow, this week was truly exhausting battle. Business is a hard world. Some folks may not think it is that hard- they come into work, pull their 8-hour shift and look forward to payday. Other folks drive the business- they have to stay abreast of the market and adapt constantly in order to maintain market position. Coming into the office in these economic times and hoping things work out, hoping that the checks will keep coming in seems to be a failed proposition to me. I can be purty hard at times- when times get tough I only have sympathy for those who contribute. I only have sympathy for the folks who make it feasible for me to have my job by being part of the solution and if it comes to cutting the complacent and undervalued, so be it- it is what you have to do and just pick some hopeful other person who is hungry to perform and eager for an opportunity. If you keep your business strong the probability of survival is there.

I woke up this morning tired. A long week, long hours- but I knew with the amount of stress I was experience I had to jump on the treadmill before the duty day and pay myself and let the tension sort itself out. It was a good decision and I was able to fight through the day. Stepping into the office is purty much like stepping onto the mat/ into the ring. In a fight you can't be complacent because the other person is going to bring it and you have to respond, there is no not feeling like playing, there is no half ass in full contact fighting and in jiu-jitsu you have to bring it to come out relatively clean. I bring the same attitude to work- once I step into the elevator and head up to the office...I dunno how it sorts itself out, but I just focus. I like my job because the focus is on through the day, through the issues and on a week like this when the duty day comes to a violent end you find your focus won't let go and that a process of decompression must ensue.

Tomorrow I have to wake up early, refocus and stay on schedule on some home projects that I have to get done before my next midget comes along in May. Sometimes you wonder how the hell can you keep focusing, fighting, weekday, weekend with out rest? As I learned in Ranger School adversity is simply sustaining the will to put one foot forward and then the other until what needs getting done is done.

Life- I wouldn't have it any other way. When you struggle is when you live- it is when you can appreciate your consitituion and just appreciate what you are made of. I think that is the allure of combat sports - is it fun, I dunno, but it is a struggle and when you are done w/ training you may be a bit bruised and what not- but your spirit is just strong.

Training Wee ones!

2009-02-17T17:33:00.000-08:00

One of the main reasons I enjoy Combatives is representing enough to pass on to my Wee Ones. My preference is to find a nice integrated school for both myself and the midgets, but that is easier said then done.

I tried out a Jiu Jitsu school for young one's in the local area and it absolutely SUCKED! They didn't properly seperate the age groups by maturity level. They had 4-6 years olds in the same class as teenagers and it wasn't like they separated them out- they all trained together, were demonstrated the same techniques and in the end they all suffered. If you are a parent and deal w/ Children they obviously have different approaches to learning and for something like BJJ you have to train specific to age because all submissions can be very dangerous.

I then tried out a local TKD. TKD has really evolved from being your typical Martial Arts school of days past to a Revenue Generating Day Care MACHINE! Most TKD schools are awesome w/ really young children- the instructors obviously have training, they have excellent instructor to midget ratios, they have age specific training that combines discipline, games/fun stuff with fundamental martial arts - they also are great at teaching concepts of student/teacher dynamics- like speaking only when you have permission, showing respect, standing in line, paying attention all kinds of good stuff! Aside from the cost- modern TKD instruction is a Sport and I am doubtful that a young child will learn good self defense doing TKD or any other kick punch. In many respects Stand Up fighting is more critical in timing and technque then takedown and ground fighting and the way I see midgets fighting at an early age 4-10 - it is more about the clinch, take down and positional dominance. That being said - I decided to teach my children on my own until I find something decent.

The first big focus area is general fitness- that's endurance, flexbility, strength and power. I work this as just a function of my Midget's lifestyles. We are an active family so for combatives- flexiblity and dexterity are more of the focus areas and fun basic drills as a warm up are how I get things going. I'll draft my notes, but this is an evolving process- I try to limit "Training" to 30 -mins max. My challenge is figuring out how to get through to them w/out being too hard:

1. I have them bow onto my 9 x 9 mat- I do this on my own from habit; respect your training environment.
2. We actually face and bow to each other - respect your training partners. I like the informal attribution of respect I've seen in BJJ. Not formal at all, but basic deference to who is teaching and who is learning.
3. Warm Up - Slow Count Side-Straddle Hop (they are figuring this out); high knees and heel kickers; jumping in place and side to side; hindo push ups.
4. Conditioning - 2-3 drills, e.g. crawling, crab walks, shuffling, etc. Total body weight, dynamic trills to work the body as a system and warm things up.
5. Skillz Training - I break this up. I really want to emphasize falling and basic tumbling. At 3 and 5 they can do some things, but this will be a core area. I spent years doing front/back/side/twisting falls and this is great for condition, dexterity and is a critical fundamental skill for MMA training to develp- perfect for midgets. We also are working STance- simple concepts of hand position, keeping eyes on opponent, retreating linearly and obliquely - I make this all games so it is fun, but to the point. Other key techniques is hand position in the guard, cover blocking front, top, side2side - not the traditional stuff, but what I've used in full contact fighting, very simple effcient blocks. I'm going to emphasize these two areas w/ less offense for now.

Once they get falling and the basic fighting position and blocks down I think I'll progress to some basic punches and clinchs and lots of hip throws and leg sleeps- we are also addressing the Positional Hiearchy- the know the mount, how to trap arms and my oldest can do some basic bumping...

Anyway that is the game plan, see how we go.
Warm Up:

Jiu-Jitsu Positional Hierarchy

2009-02-16T09:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, this may seem obvious- but not for the uninformed, here is my best guess of the positional hierarchy, i.e. my working hypothesis. Worst to best - I just linked in some descriptive videos based on a hasty search, if I find really accurate stuff, I'll update it accordingly:

Opponent has your Back/ "Back Mount" - be mindful of getting choked!
Opponent is sitting on your torso, North of your Waist/Legs - "Full Mount"
My Speculation - I figure"North-South", i.e. opponent is on top of you in an inverted position and "Knee on Belly" is somewhere in here - these seem worse to me then the next.
Opponent has you in "Side Control/Mount"
Opponent is inside your "Guard"
Opponent has one leg in your "Half-Guard"
Opponent gets to "Buttlerfly Guard"
You get stuck in your Opponent's "Guard" (See things start to reverse here)
You get to "Buttlerfly Guard"
You get stuck in your Opponent's "Half-Guard"
You get free and get into "Side Control/Mount"
You achieve "North-South", i.e. opponent is on top of you in an inverted position and "Knee on Belly".
You transition into "Full Mount"
You Take your Opponents Back / "Back Mount"

I think the next step is to build a Matrix of things to consider, escapes, submissions from these respective positions. To date, my training perspective of "Position before Submission" is all about knowing how to move up and down this hierarchy and try to maintain what I have established.

HUMILITY...

2009-02-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

...It was a very hot session tonight. The winter weather is freakishly warm in the DC Metro Area- high 60's and even hotter in the training studio. We started class with some judo stuff. I haven't done this kind of stuff for well over a decade- I'm thinking 14 years maybe. Just doing a very simple and fundamental drill opens a door of learning that is seemingly overwhelming...but it is what it is and you just have to make do w/ where you are at today.

One student asked, "how do you get promoted?" I outlined that you just show up as much as you can and ideally you'll improve and one day you'll get called up in front of class and awarded a belt- ha, ha! That is why I love this discipline- you really can't focus on learning a defined set of stuff and mimicking the moves and then forgetting them after you test. There is obviously risk of preferential treatment/promotions- but what is a belt really? A belt won't determine if you get your ass kicked or not in a real fight. I kinda see the blue belt as a weenie who is well rounded, they kinda have a bag of tricks for each of the basic positions, they may not be bullet proof in executing everything- but they have a game plan for each position and some trained situational awareness to progress and/or defend their current state- above that, the higher belts are just degrees of really amazingly good shiat- ha, ha! In Jiu Jitsu, well at least in this school, a belt is an indicator of skill - not just knowledge and that is what counts.

What was amusing to me after leaving class tonight was another big and old guy, a purple belt, commented to me how he keeps telling his Wife, "Why the heck do I love this sport, it is so hard, I get beat up- but it is the only thing I love and has to keep coming." I can totally sympathize, at the beginning and end of every class I'm thinking- holy crap, I'm 38! I recognize that I'm in half decent shape and what not, but a 38-year old body requires a bit of gentleness and the 90-minutes of class is very, very demanding. The Army Infantry life has weakened my shoulders and knees, I have a deep abdominal injury and weak hamstrings- not to mention my deteriorating shoulders...but it is all good. If I'm patient, don't try to muscle my way through things, there is no pain, just good holistic conditioning. I always want to quit in class- walk out to get a drink and not come back in- ha, ha! However, I have rules to keep going, roll as much as feasible, learn as much as I can- just suck it up until class is done and if I do that, then I've polished my soul enough for the moment. I don't care about winning or loosing- just transcending fatigue and focusing, keeping a good attitude and humor and being respectful of my class mates. Okay, I do care about executing good technique- having a clear head and being situationally aware of what is happening and executing- even if I fail to get an armbar or something - seeing the opportunity and getting the timing right makes me feel good, if I get it- even better, but I don't try to force it- where I am at is being ready to take a submission opportunity- just getting that site picture down and acting appropriately is what I want to polish and after I get that down I'll work on sticking the transition and the submission...

Anyway, after class, after getting to my car feeling the cool air penetrating my sweaty self and taking deep gulping breathes- I just sit in my car and always I have this cathartic experience - I'm just very content, it is like a 45-60 second moment in my life where I feel right, I am profundly satisfied, I am ME...it is this gift to self that makes this discipline/sport so endearing and how I am not sure I can easily walk away.

There are suprisingly lots of Jiu Jitsu's school in the Area, but Dalla's class just has the right kind of culture, competitive spirit, respectful hierarchy but not necessarily hierachial...just a good studio. Highly recommended.

Monday, Mondays!

2009-02-09T19:16:00.000-08:00

Monday classes are really hard for me to go to. It is the first day of the week, I have a very challenging job and today was really challenging and then you have to buck up and game in Jiu Jitsu. I often have excuses. Wednesday is my Mandatory must attend day and it is easy to give in to the Monday blues and not go. Granted, my Spousal Unit is good in encouraging me to go and I know I always feel better to go!

Today was a good class. I like to emphasize there is no winning and loosing- there is just training. Some folks are big on if they dominate other folks in training. If I roll with a white belt, I like to take more risks. I prefer rolling w/ upper belts to focus on my basics and if I get an opportunity to submit- I will take it. However, I find defending their attacks and working to improve my positional hierarchy is really good training. I think folks might overlook this detail and focus on submitting folks. When I did lots of stand up - I had a great instructor who emphasize foot work; in fact my approach to foot work is a mind numbing progression of drills. If you can move w/ control then you can attack- obviously if you can't maneuver with a solid foundation how can you launch punches/kicks with power. Lots beginners punch and kick while barely maintaining their balance. So in Jiu Jitsu- I kinda associate understanding "foot work" to getting the basics of positional hierarchy as an essential part of just figuring out progressions that can lead to an attack.

Per my last post- I decided I am going to start looking to attack more. I can't say I have been successful, but establishing positional control and attacking is like a new skill- the transition to a submit is the next skill, however, what I find that is good is that I can be a bit more relaxed in securing the position- some positions are more natural then others and my focus can be more on setting up the transition for a submission. Anyway, I have to qualify my level of assertiveness in seeking submissions- it is like 33% - so it is not a lot, but it is more then before- ha, ha!

I'm also working my basic fitness. Plyometrics and interval work. If I think I relax in rolling, but just having that explosive energy and ability to recover fast anaerobically seems to be a good fitness skill.

I can't say enough about the quality of my school - folks are always giving you tips of how they were dominating you and what you were doing wrong. Like today, I could get into side control- my opponent could always get an underhook, which I knew was bad, but couldn't figure out how to wiggle it out. Anyway, after class he should me how to do it- a really simple detail that really improves my game. I also was able to get out of a half-guard today per a maneuver a purple belt show'd me last week. This is great stuff. I don't like disparaging other schools in the Virginia area- but I did lots of trial classes and there is no comparison to Dalla's school I found. Either the classes were too small, you didn't get senior belt observation and you definitely didn't get many chances to roll with other folks. Good stuff!

Good class. Er, folks are catching on to my "I'm 38 lamentations" - ha, ha! Well I am old and it is hard to roll as an old bastard with 2 going on 3 x midgets with life responsibilities...but, per the title of this blog- fight for inches...don't focus on where you want to be so much as what is obtainable today, tomorrow and ultimately you can look back and realize you have traveled purty far.

Attacks

2009-02-05T19:10:00.000-08:00

I need to be a bit more timely in my posts! I'll aim for weekly. After 6 x Months of Jiu Jitsu I've decided to start hunting for submissions. To date I focused on just having a clue in the basic positions and trying to understand what the heck is going on. I also tried to maintain more dominant positions that were good for striking because my goal is self-defense first and what not. I can't say I mastered squat, but I figure it is time to start working towards more submission oppportunities.

Oh, I'm not thinking I'm going for an Arm Bar or this or that. I just going to get control of my position and then wiggle out what I can from there. Last night we were drilling the mount. If I could easily get a collar choke on the person, I'd avoid that and attempt an arm bar or something. I think I did alright on the transition to the arm bar, but sucked at pinching the legs before leaning back in it.

I remember an article I read on "stopping mind" and fighting- basically if you are conciously focusing on something your mind stops flowing and your body stops seeing/feeling. I find when I think more agressively in my jiu-jitsu I forget to breathe and feel what my opponent is doing.

I'm going to try more submission dummy drillings- like free play shadow boxing, just trying to go from one position to another in endless progressions of things I know.

On another note, I'm excited about Dalla getting his own studio then our current operations out of a local Gym. I dunno, there is something comforting about having your school settled in it's own studio.

A New Year!

2009-01-20T03:47:00.001-08:00

No I haven't been slacking, but life has been really demanding with work related travel and family operations. For folks with Midgets you have to know that life is an hourly managed affair. Anyhow a couple of months ago I decided to invest in a home dojo solution. It seems that all the workouts I do consist of some type of rolling around. I found an economical, quality mat solution through www.greatmats.com. They are firm, but comfortable enough to roll, I find a 9' x 9' space is more then enough for my requirements.
I also invested in a Submission Dummy. This was a hard thought out training aid because of the high costs and have a specific use. I ultimately went with the "Submission Master". There are a few variants out there like grappling dummies - I found these attractive because of the price point, but I didn't feel like these offered the training options to work your guard and other positions. The other option I seriously debated was the Bubba Dummy. I can't speak to the Bubba Dummy, but can comment on what I purchased.

First off, this is a DUMMY - it is a training aid, it won't feel like a real person and it is just not anything more then a training aid to help build muscle memory and condition. Granted, it does freak you out for a bit when you walk into the basement- you see this life-sized, human looking thing and you jump. It took awhile for my family to get used to it- I'd hear my Wife Shriek a few times while going into the basement, scared my 5-year old purty good and I get a kick out of sending folks into the basement just to hear them freak out. We named the dummy "Bob" - that seems to make him friendlier.

In general, I find Bob to be very useful rehearsing what I learned in class. He is a patient, willing partner that allows me to stumble through what I understand and just get my body used to the action. I purposely visualize a real person and what a real person feels like versus a dummy. There are aspects of the dummy that don't feel like a real person at all- however, it is far easier to train your body through a technique or flow with this then raw visualization or shadow grappling. I also like this for condition, in particular my guard- it is great to lock up on this and practice sitting up, breaking posture and a multitude of things. It helps me condition my hip flexors and other sport specific muscles that are harder to address. I think this Dummy can be built a bit more physiologically correct. I'm 6'1" and 230-lbs on a good day. I have a 33" inseam and I am working hard to lock my ankles in the guard. This is a big dummy, I am a big guy- I don't think smaller folks would have an easy go w/ this beast- Bubba might be your person. However, for me- big dummy for bigger dummy - works perfect! I ultimately took out about 15-lbs of stuffing in the waist so that I could more effectively get my guard locked and establish a feel of a real person, which is squishier then this dummy. I may take out some stuffing from the shoulders so I can work my triangles more effectively- granted, the instructions state it will loosen up w/ use- so I'm working that. Overall I think this or a DUMMY is a solid investment for quality training outside of the dojo. I have a great training environment and when you learn new techniques I eigther file it in my mental "tool kit" or "notebook" - if it is in my tool kit, It is something I plan on using. The notebook are for techniques that are too advanced or physically impossible for me to pull off at the moment. Whatever is in my tool kit I try to rehearse. I also spend time working out a positional hierarchy matrix- basically rehearsing a few moves to move up and town the hierarchy. Using the dummy to drill a technique or flow 10-20 times is just great muscle memory and conditioning training- but I emphasize you have to visualize a real person and what is going on when you do this. In the heat of the moment grappling with another human being moving and contesting your game plan, w/out visualization, it is hard to see with eyes, body and mind to execute your technique. I pay lots of attention to transitions and maxing the control/leverage- this is bad when the move has to be fast and dynamic, but I figure I'll get there eventually- however, learning this way gives me time to think through WTH is next- ha, ha!

Anyway, I highly recommend crafting a home training environment for the life strapped grapplers. I'll post more on conditioning and what not as I focus on this new year. I'm about 6 x months into Jiu Jitsu and I feel I'm past the phase of utter frustration. Oh, I get destroyed by upper belts always- but I have my gain plan, I fight for inches and keep moving forward.

White Belt Knowledge....

2008-09-16T19:00:00.000-07:00

Wow- some classes you leave elated, some classes you leave with the profound appreciation just how far and challenging the journey is going to be. The only respite is knowing that it is the journey that is the reward- not necessarily the destination. A few weeks into my BJJ journey, I pause and glance back and reflect on some critical little details outside of the techniques:

1. Hang you Gi to dry immediately after every class. Leaving a Gi in a gym bag is a very bad thing to do- the smell is quite impressive. I actually walked in to my laundry room and thought we had a gas leak only to discover it was the BO from my Gi. I have to use stain remover on the arm pits to just remove the smell every time I wash my Gi...no one likes a stinky training buddy on the mat!

2. Protect your knees w/ pads and/or neoprene sleeves. This minimizes friction between knee, sweaty gi and mat. I learned the hard way that this is a good precaution my wrenching my knee in someones guard. Since I've sported Kneepads- I've had the discomfort of the kneepads, but noticeably less knee stress or pain during sessions.

3. Patience is a virtue - rushing or mimicking techniques to try for a submission really gets you know where. Pausing, thinking - applying a game plan always gives you a perspective and foundation to learn from your mistakes. Just scrambling and struggling makes your sparring and competitive drill sessions a blur- having a simple plan and having it fail or succeed lends to the fruits of labor.

4. Seek opportunities to be demonstrated on! If you don't understand a technique and/or don't feel you are getting it right- ask a senior belt or the instructor to do it on you. It is very enlightening to feel what they are doing to you so you can work it out for yourself.

5. Focus on posture, transitions and controls first and worry about submissions last. It seems quite apparent that the most critical thing to learn and get solid on as a White Belt is Positional Hierarchy- just knowing what to do to achieve a better position or avoid getting put in a worse one. My hopes are to get 1-3 solid options for each position. My understanding of the positions are from worst to best:

a. Being mounted from behind.
b. Full mount - opponent is straddle across your chest and past your guard
c. Opponent has side control.
d. Opponent is in your half guard.
e. Opponent is in your guard.
f. You are in the opponents half guard.
g. etc....

There are other positions like the Turtle, knee mounts, etc. All these things seem critical to have an idea about regarding managing positional hierarchy. I really believe that figuring out attacks and/or submissions are an after thought ... my game plan is to get solid in these details first.

6. Don't compete in class- TRAIN! I like sparring w/ folks who give me constructive feedback while I'm competitive drilling or sparring. IF they see me making mistakes and giving me pointers I like it. So I like to do the same- I may not understand what I'm experiencing- but when I feel like there is space opening up and/or I have a window (that isn't a trap) - letting my training partner know what I was doing to succeed is very important. Part of me feels like I should keep this a secret so I can always dominate them in training- however, this is training and if I don't help my peers, then I'm not helping myself- I become better by having to overcome folks who are improving on an equal pace. Plus the beauty of the school is the community. As I was conveying to the spousal unit- BJJ is purty cool. I was sparring a guy, he got a leg cramp and I thought nothing about stopping and massaging it out for him. I'm not homophobic or anything - this is just not behavior I'm accustomed to doing in any sports event. Just Train with your peers - don't compete.

7. Push yourself- every class with Dalla, I want to quit every 1/2 hour- but I find if I keep pushing on I always make it to the end and it wasn't that bad of a journey. Learning how to roll tired- helps you focus on breathing, cleaner technique and maximizing leverage. I'm not saying I'm successful- I just work to be cleaner as I get more fatigued.

8. Finally- Fitness is king! Some things in Jiu-Jitsu just requires physical fitness, i.e. flexibility or strength. You have to find time outside of class to work on your flexibility and dynamic strength. I try to work out early in the morning- just doing drills to build my core, limberness and dynamic strength so I can fight from the bottom...gotta long way to go. However, as I build my fitness base- I find some things get easier for me in class. Truly a fight for inches.

Footsies

2008-09-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

Regarding Footwork - lots of talk about foot work and how it is important- I read lots of books and I rarely find an explanation on key concepts of foot work that breaks it down as simple as I was taught, so I thought I'd lay out some details:

1. Vertical Alignment of shoulders and hips- ensuring this alignment when moving maximizes a stable position so that you are in the best position to defend or attack. Basically, don't lean forward or backward when moving- seems simple, but folks often tend to lead w/ their shoulders and head when moving forward or backward. Managing this ensures you do not set up a condition of imbalance. Getting where you want to go quickly is critical, but when you arrive at your destination you want to be ready for anything. Also, when being attacked- allowing your shoulders and hips to get out of vertical alignment puts you in a fundamental position of disadvantage and thus giving your assailant an opportunity.

2. Ensuring you maintain contact w/ the ground through the balls of your feet. If you close your eyes, relax and take a step- you'll notice you always have to transition your weight to the balls of your feet before you can physically move. Thus to move and respond rapidly already being on the balls of your feet allow for timely responsiveness. I often talk of blind moments and dead space in Fighting. Dead Space is when you or your opponent just physically can't adjust their state once in transition. For example, someone who bounces up and down in their stance and allows their feet to leave the ground- the instant the balls of their feet leave the earth and until the moment before they descend- well that instance is what I call dead space. Part of effective footwork is to minimize dead space in movement so that the opportunity to be physically caught off guard is mitigated. Blind moments are similar to dead space- obviously moments when you or your opponent are blind to an attack. Both Dead Space and Blind Moments can be forced.

3. Finally, understanding that to move your center point, Dan Tien, Tea Cup is the most critical mass to move first- since the quickest path between two points is a straight line- when moving, you must move your center point to the next point in the most direct path, i.e. w/ minimal bouncing up and down. Note w/ proper shoulder alignment and initiating the movement from the balls of your feet- one's ability to move the fastest through space is feasible. If a fighter develops good foot work, they can achieve what I call float. A fighter who moves w/ controlled center point is harder to "see" - we often depend on the exaggerated movements a person makes when moving, attacking, etc. to "see" - a person who moves w/ good float at you, it is harder to see the attack. Basically, telegraph less.

Foot work development techniques- In general, most movements begin w/ the leg opposite of the direction you want to move. Thus when moving forward, you push off w/ your rear leg and advance w/ your front, the opposite for reversing, etc.

For training footwork- I recommend "The Ultimate Boxer Book" by Christy Halbert. He has a great discussion and recommendations for this.

I'm a big fan of Shadow Boxing the fundamentals - so just doing 2-5 rounds of foot work to include dips, slips and ducks w/ a focus on the three concepts of movement mentioned previously above is a great way to build one's footwork foundation. I like the following drills also:

1. Shoulder Tag - with a partner, face off beyond jab distance. Moving forward and backward linearly take turns having one person trying to tag the rear most shoulder of the "defending" person. The aggressor (shoulder tagger) advances, the defender, defends by retreating. The goal of the game is to not win by tagging your partner, but to work the concepts above and cognitive skills of "seeing". Also critical, folks should work to maintain good distance so the aggressor has to advance and close the gap to get the deep shoulder tag. Once folks are moving smoothly, variations that include changing angles and competitive drills that include changing angles and shoving can be introduced.

Changing angles is the same drill, however, the aggressor advances so as to attempt to bump the other person with their hips- they can make huge lunges or multiple smaller advances (maintain the three principles of movement discussed earlier). The Defender should adjust their angle as soon as they recognize a linear retreat is compromised by simply pivoting or switch stepping. This is harder said then done. If the Defender changes angle, the aggressors should seek to match the angle change so they are both facing each other in a combative stance. Doing this drill back and forth and switching rolls - builds smoother movement and subconsciously develops the timing to change angles before one's retreat is compromised.

The last variation of this drill is once folks have the angle changing down, folks change angles and whomever anchors first in their stance - attempts to shove the other person off balance. The defender, if timed right, will anchor first and easily offset the aggressor. The aggressor if perceptive of the angle adjustment will catch the defender or change the angle of advance before the defender can switch up. The last variation is the foundation of rooting and then launching an attack...if you aren't rooted a person can't attack w/ power. This is the key concept of foot work- maintain distance and avoidance subconsciously such that transitioning into the attacks from a solid, rooted position is a constant. If a person has bad foot work, you know there attacks are less potent and they can be taken advantage of.

2. Ring Control - this drill is a non-contact sparring drill w/ the exception of a shoulder tag. You can do this w/ contact also- but at the beginning the emphasis is foot work. Basically, folks work to gain control of the center of the ring and work to manage distance. Managing distance is a discussion in itself- but basically, if you have reach on your opponent, the rule of thumb is that you must attack if your opponent comes w/in your reach. If your opponent out reaches you, then you must attack when you are in your reach. This is basically a drill emphasizing foot work and lobbying for the decisive position of the center ring. The focus is on primarily using foot work to establish this advantage. Offensive techniques are simply used to manage distance.

DRILLS are focused on a subset of what you are training on- not every thing. These drills condition the legs, allow for a focus on key concepts and movement techniques, work the cognitive skills of anticipating folks movement and introduces an understanding of key terrain in the ring and how to use foot work to control the ring or force an opponent into the ropes or the corner (or stay out of the corner). There is no winning or loosing a drill- the focus is on perfect practice and ingraining the critical concepts. As always, folks should do these drills w/ their hands up.

My philosophy for beginners is there is no point to really get into strikes, kicking or whatever, until a solid proficiency of foot work is established. Learning strikes and takedowns once solid footwork established only compliments the development of the martial artist- learning how to kick w/out solid movement- well what is the point, especially in this MMA world where getting taken down is always an option.

On Stances- I understand three basic stances that mean something really:

1. A counter attack stance- this is when a fighter biases their weight to the rear leg, the front leg has minimal weight on it. Often folks lead arm is held lower. The fight tempo is slower and one person may assume this position with manageable distance between him/herself and their opponent. From this stance the fighter can explode forward or rapidly thrust out defensive lead leg kicks and attacks. This stance is either a focused counter attacker's stance or a tired fighter's stance. Again, this stance is biased for forward movement. To attack this stance- you must spring the trap w/ feints or just enter the trap and work the scramble to establish the initiative.

2. All Around Stance - this is like a boxer's stance, , weight equally distributed, but legs a bit wider than you'd see on a boxer due to the precaution against leg sweeps, take downs, etc. This is a very strong stance, intrinsic mobility, punching/kicking options readily available. To attack this stance- you must deliberately work to assess the depth and habits of a this fighter.

3. Finally, a take down stance- this is a very wide, lower stance, similar to an all around stance, but the fighters guard is held higher up to the temples. This stance focus is on shooting or coming in under ones guard to rise up w/ angular attacks to head or torso. This stance is limited in its ability to option kicks. Attacking this stance requires investigation like items 1 & 2 - it's weakness is the constrained offensive options.

Again, per my perspective, mastering foot work is critical before learning to kick/punch - it is harder to blend footwork w/ kicks/punches all at once.

Combat Athlete...

2008-09-07T18:03:00.000-07:00

It is calm Sunday after many weeks of scrambling, but I think I'm getting into a decent rhythm. I'm a bit hobbled because I sprained my knee or something a couple of weeks ago. I have full range of motion and the ability to bear weight, however, my knee is very stiff and I'm forced to walk with a limp.

I'm definitely find myself fully invested in my Jiu Jitsu Training at Leo Dalla's school. I find the classes physically challenging. I'm usually pretty fried after work and my motivation to do anything physical is really low. However, after the warm up and light condition I seem to get focused a bit...well sort've. I just will myself through each phase of class until it is done.

I try to train like I did when I was a cadet, i.e. separate learning technique from developing physical fitness and maximizing drilling and visualization. I recently invested in a Grappling Dummy by Submission Master. It cost a pretty penny, but after lots of research, this seems to be the best bet. My training methodology begins with paying attention in class and asking questions. If I can get a senior belt to demonstrate on me- even better. When Leo demonstrates on you, it really hurts and it is the best way to get a firm appreciation on how is applying leverage and control on you through all the transitions. After class I make a point of visualizing what I learned before I go to bed. Just mentally rehearsing the moves, step-by-step, from a first person perspective. I find if I can't visualize it, then I don't know what I'm doing. The following day, I then draw/write out the techniques and key points- this is for record, but also a means to imprint details into my long-term memory. The challenge is that visualization is not enough and there is no opportunity to practice. So what I want to introduce is visualization with drilling...two nights a week, I just drill w/ the dummy, this will serve as conditioning and full mental and muscle memory rehearsal. I can't wait to get my little buddy.

I'm also going to start working in cycling back into my morning routines either just riding in the morning or commuting to work. I think working the deep endurance will be a nice compliment. Post drilling, I'll have to wiggle in the strength training and deeper stretching. The biggest challenge is working in at least 1 x day for stand up training- just some solid shadow boxing and kicking drill. A live training partner would be ideal for this. Maybe I can coax my neighbor into participating???

I am fortunate that I have a Combat Athlete's mental maturity. At 37 folks may not think a body is old, but it is older and slower to recover. At times I get frustrated that I didn't enter the world of ground fighting sooner, that I resisted this and stuck to stand up- but it is what it is. I find the challenges of humility and training to be very engaging and soothing to a stressful life. However, I'm wise enough to understand not to mimic, but to build skills - just patient in the journey. I don't focus on submission, but rather maintaining posture and building awareness and setting up attacks. I find I don't like muscling my way to success, I like figuring out a path and working my way there. I also maximize the use of my weight to fatigue my opponent and all my attacks are responses to my limited understanding of the options they have available. Similar to my stand up days- I don't like to "attack" per se, I like to defend offensively...

In this sport, BJJ, I want to compete and I need to be in the best shape I can manage to minimize injury and maximize success. It is important to realize that I am an amateur, my life's priorities are being a husband to my Spousal Unit and Raising my midgets- this, BJJ - Martial Arts, is a mental break and means to stay fit. Not to mention a skill I want to teach my boys. In fact, I'm thinking my retirement goals are to get a Black Belt in BJJ and then open a school or program focused on teaching children. I love teaching, I love martial arts and I think BJJ is a great skill for young folks to learn.

OUT!

The Unfettered Mind

2008-08-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

Takuan Soho: "One borrows the strength of desire while either succeeding or failing, and when he considers the unwaveringly correct and straight mind to be his plumbline and acts according to it, success and failure are still matters of that strength.
"But if one does not stray from this plumbline, it is not called desire. It is called right-mindedness. Right-mindedness is none other then virtue."

Phases of Combat

2008-08-09T14:44:00.002-07:00

There is quite a bit of great documentation on phases of combatives, lots of different decomposition of those phases, however the one I most often discuss are:

Stand-up - this is when the opportunity to face one opponent exist before physically engaging an opponent. This can be two folks facing off and/or one person facing off (specifically attacking an opponent who is unaware).
Clinch - when opponents are physically bound such that the ability of one opponent to directly influence the balance / maneuverability of the other exist. This may entail holding onto clothing, hair or one finger to a full double underhand clinch.
Take Down - when from the clinch (via a throw) or even stand up (sweep or push) an opponent is forced off their feet to the ground.
Ground - when both opponents are off their feet and working towards a respective end (submission) or to stand back up.

To be proficient in all of these areas is very challenging. Today there are more schools where you can become proficient in all phases of combatives. I'm a big fan of the stand-up and clinch- to avoid being taken to or going to the ground. Of course, I'm a bigger fan of never getting into a fight absolutely and am more then willing to run away, loose face in front of others if that lends to avoiding a confrontation decisively.

One could argue, respective to self-defense, the first phase of combatives is "Avoidance." Not dressing, acting or being in a place where you or those you are with has a signature that would mark you as an target of opportunity for folks who would seek to harm you (don't advertise your socio-economic status); avoiding places & situations where a confrontation may occur and finally being aware at moments of risk - even in the home. Granted, easier said then done and a worthy discussion in itself at some other time.

Learning Technique versus Developing a Skill

2008-08-09T14:44:00.001-07:00

here are many misconceptions about being a proficient martial artists. Many folks get deluded by the path of having an expansive toolkit of Techniques, where it reality the toolkit that counts is that of one's skills. An understanding of Techniques is simply having the fundamental understanding of various methods to react to a certain situation or just knowing how to execute a move like a kick, punch, chop, choke, etc. A detailed, academic understanding of a technique is still a technique, a skill is the ability to apply the technique consistently with a uncooperative opponent. The key word is consistently.

In many martial arts schools there is often a focus of teaching techniques, techniques are batched together and a knowledge of a batch of techniques is often attributed to a rank and the culmination of lots of batches of techniques is directly attributable to rank...but not necessarily experience. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because in our modern age folks participate in Martial Arts for more reasons then to defend themselves- a driving force is physical fitness. If a students goal is physical fitness, then learning how to physically execute a technique and repeating vigorously for an aerobic workout may be more then enough for their requirements of a course. However, students focused on self defense and combative sports need to focus on skill development.

If you recall, the for elements of a Martial Artist are Mental, Physical, Technical and Experience. Techniques fit in the Technical Bin- just having the knowledge of how to do a physical maneuver. We use this formal to put a Skill in the proper context:

Martial Skill = (Mental + Physical + Technical) x Experience

A person must train cognition across all senses - sight, touch, sound; train the body to be physically able to execute the technique; have a solid technical understanding of technique; and finally through phased training acquire enough experience so that consistent execution is feasible. Granted, the hard piece here is how to "Train" to develop a skill.

The most critical detail is patience. and progressive training. Techniques often have layers, for example you have to master some fundamental techniques to set up and or appreciate others. For example, before I teach punching and kicking I focus on Stance and Footwork. Until a student develops a fundamental knowledge and ability to apply an effective Stance and Footwork the teaching of other techniques, like punching and kicking isn't very productive because they don't have the foundational skill to be very effective at the latter techniques. So when you are learning a technique or teaching a technique it is best to be at the point in your development where the knowledge is useful.

Developing skills takes longer, is harder, and often not a good teaching approach for a Martial Arts school because students want the quick sense of accomplishment a bag of techniques complimented by a pretty color belt. Another complication of our modern age in teaching martial arts is the fact that many folks are grossly out of shape. They've abused the greatest gift given to them in life with a life of negligence. Therefore, at times, teaching students techniques first as a means to provide them martial callisthenics's is a good thing. You can see this in some Martial Arts Schools. When I learned formal "Kick-Punch" there was a concept of junior and senior ranks, gup and dan. Students weren't allowed to spar until they achieved a dan rank, which was fairly senior. My sense of things was that the goal was to get folks fit enough and have the basic understanding of techniques to be able to begin the development of skills. In fact, in many "Kick-Punch" styles of martial arts, achieving the esteemed black belt is truly the beginning of the journey because often by this point the students predominant skill is breaking stuff, acrobatics and demonstrations of physical fitness the development of combative skills is not really emphasized.

Progressive training is focused on building a technique to a skill per the crawl-walk-run paradigm. Where in each phase there is discussion, demonstration and practical exercises. I believe it is important to ingrain into the students the purpose of the technique and when it is applicable and then through progressively training cooperative slow-paced partnered drills and building them up safely until sparring level practice is feasible. There comes a point in training where the student must then take over the development of the skill. Yes, the student is always accountable for themselves in learning, but the point where in the studio where sparring is allowed, that student pairing up and attempting to execute the technique in a fully dynamic environment is critical. An instructor can force this, but the accountable ownership by an individual is best.

This is why in developing skills, folks should not be focused on "beating" their peers. It is best to use more junior students to practice develop techniques you are less proficient at and challenge yourself with senior students (assuming more skilled) with your best techniques to identify flaws and build consistency.

In summary, understand your martial arts training focus and don't confuse knowing a technique with having a martial skill.

A Journey of a Thousand Miles begins with...

2008-08-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

...a single step.

I'm about a month into Jiu Jitsu. I started at one school in the area which had amazing facilities. It was easy to be overwhelmed by the activity because it is new and very different and so it is hard to establish a framework to evaluate if what you are doing is good and/or bad. However, after 2 classes and a ton of research on YouTube and books I started to question the methods of this institution. I couldn't really see the coherent path of the developmental process. I started to sense a framework of the sport relative to respective positions:

1. Back Mount - you are in control on someone back, most dominant.
2. Frontal Mount - you are straddling someones chest - purty bad also.
3. Half Mount - you are on top, but they have one of your legs trapped in theirs.
4. Inside their guard - you are trapped between their legs in the top position.

From here the positions reverse in advantage, e.g. once in their guard if flip-flopped I'd be in my guard position w/ a weenie on top of me, but constrained by my legs, i.e. the full guard.

Relative to these positions I wasn't so much concerned about having techniques, but understand what posture, control I needed to maintain and wanted to learn the easiest, highest percentage attacks and basic defense from each position. Per this framework there are 8 relative positions, thus roughly 16 x basic attacks/defenses. I'd have liked to start training w/ 16 x core techniques and maybe an additional 16 x techniques that addressed transitions between positions relative to being in the advantageous versus disadvantageous one. Well that wasn't happening.

My next approach was to attempt to train myself after class. The challenge here is you need a partner. Not just any partner, but a dedicated partner who would do what I told them- ha, ha! Actually, I wanted to drill, I wanted to have high attention to detail to posture and controlled transitions- granted, nobody had these details. I don't want to disparage the school because many fine martial arts institutions have this grey space for beginners- you kinda have to earn your way via the school of hard knocks. So a weenie definitely has the opportunity to succeed at this place w/ a bit of persistence and practice. Now, I don't have a sense of how Jiu Jitsu is trained so I decided to take trial classes at every school close to my commute.

I consulted Paul Greenhill, aka the Wise Old Grappler, who I worked with in the past but didn't know is later-ego. I bought a couple of his DVDs which turned out to be awesome resources to help me understand how to manage my journey then just hanging out as a tourist hoping for a good ride. Ultimately I found a great opportunity at Leo Dalla BJJ who is in Lloyd Irvin's Network. My first class I had a mentor assigned who taught me more about the fundamentals of the guard position and passing the guard then I every even got a glimpse of after 3 x weeks of training. Also, quite notable Leo taught the exact same technique I was taught on Monday at my original school (it was a Tuesday)- but Leo's details were all about transition w/ total dominance and control and he pointed out things to avoid which led to pitfalls that was never highlighted in my previous instruction. For me, right there, right then I was confident this was the place for me. Leo teaches in a gym, the training mats are great, but the facilities can't compare to my other location, nor his website- but having an opportunity to training under a top notch, competition seasoned black belt was, is an opportunity I couldn't miss.

More importantly, we are only taught one or two techniques in a class and are given lots of time to practice and figure it out. Some folks think learning lots of cool stuff is good training, it isn't - in combative sports you are victim to "think, no think" - you have to train, drill so you can see sub-consciously with your body and mind and react on reflex/instinct. Anyway, this is what I wanted.

A journey of a thousand miles...I'm 37, not old, but I realize that to be my best I have to be more discipline and methodical then any other endeavor per my past. It is a hard pill to swallow, but the desire to surmount this challenge is strong. Somehow in the midst of a demanding job, raising a family with two boys I will take two opportunities out of my week to focus and fight for one inch, until that inch is a step and that step is a stride and at a point in time in space in the future I will be able to look back and be proud of not the destination but the mileage traveled.

Push It...

2008-07-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

I just started another branch in my Combatives Training, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ). I'm 37 and racing towards 40 and my body echoes w/ memories of all the years gone by... This is not necessarily a good thing. Tonight's class put my aging mind and body in a challenging space, i.e. at the threshold of learning something new. Not a fun learning process, but definitely a "rewarding" one and any weenie who has walked a mile in life knows that anything that is truly rewarding just sucks getting to the point where you can reflect, smile, and say- "wow, that was rewarding!" Anyway, that point in time and space in this BJJ journey is a long, dark tunnel away...

At these moments, I always think of one story I read out of some Chinese Folklore book. The Story is about a Bull Frog that lived in a large well. The Bull Frog was the biggest creature in the Well. One has to assume a Chinese Well is bigger then what I'd think of a well, i.e. a dark hole in the ground w/ minimal light. I assume this Well is kinda like a walled pond or something that sports a wide variety of flora and fauna, like our Bull Frog friend. Anyway, this Bull Frog had a purty good deal- he was the biggest, baddest creature in the Well- he knew it, everyone knew it...life was good from his perspective.

One day, he wasn't on his game, and fell into a bucket drawing water from the well and was hauled out. The Bull Frog was lost in panic and didn't jump out of the bucket until just a moment before it was emptied. He jumped and landed at the edge of the well and looked out. He was astounded at what he saw- he saw a whole new world before him and he quickly realized that his world, the well, was not the world and that the universe was far bigger and greater and with this thought he was overwhelmed with a wave of fear, because it also became apparent that there was surely creatures in this greater world that were bigger, stronger and more capable then him. As his fear past and his thoughts unwound, he realized that a great opportunity was upon him- that his simple and predictable life in the Well could be escaped for one of new experiences and opportunities. His spirit soared at the thought of exploration and adventure and as he prepared to leap into the unknown, he hesitated...then turned and jumped back into his well - ha, ha!

As simple as this story is there are several interpretations of the Bull Frog's actions. In one sense, we are talking about a bull frog and perhaps he realized that whatever pulled him out of the well was evidence of something truly greater then he and he could end up as a meal somewhere purty quick- so out of reasonable fear of mortal peril, he was prudent and returned to the world of reasonable safety he was familiar with. This is a very rational interpretation- but not one that is very romantic at all. So I like to ignore the reasonable mortal peril and reflect on that opportunities to learn new things, expand one's horizons that can only exist when a weenie has enough fortitude to venture out into the unknown. It is one thing to simply take a BJJ class and suffer a bit while starting from the bottom acquiring new experiences and growth...however, re-joining the Army, getting a combat tour in the War, perhaps that isn't a prudent thing with a Spousal Unit and Two Midgets waiting for me in the well.

In short, many decisions folks make in life where they avoid risk is just avoiding risk to one's ego and sense of self. A weenie should train the mind to see the opportunity at these moments and be able to distinguish between a mortal fear and simply one of rewarding personal development.

Letters to my Sons.

2008-07-18T02:20:00.000-07:00

During a lunchtime chat this week my boss mentioned he read about a ritual where parents would write their children a letter on their birthdays as a gift they would give them in the future when they deem it most appropriate. I liked this idea, discussed it with my Spousal Unit (SU) and we decided to pursue it for my oldest son, Midget 1 (M1) his little brother, Midget 2 (M2). I characterize my boys as Midgets because I don't like to look at them as children- just unusually small persons w/ small proportions both mentally capable and focused as I. Granted, yes they have limits in their maturity per their age, but I like to treat them with the respect I would extend to any other human being- which entails interacting with me can be fun, but disagreeing and/or doing that which contradicts my wishes, well there is the easy way or hard way- ha, ha!

Making the choice to partner for life and procreate seems to be a necessary milestone in to progress towards happiness. There is no love I can define that compares to that of cherishing every moment of your Midget's existence. I find it more interesting because I can't say I had an idyllic child rearing- my relationship with my Father was distant and ultimately estranged. So now I have two boys- two Father and Son relationships and every moment is just an alien experience, I am exploring new terrain because I lack a personalized frame of reference of what must I do to achieve my goals of developing them into a productive and well adjusted human beings whom can have a perspective to objectively accept their lot in life and find whatever niche of happiness there is to have in our so called lives. I also want them to be like me to a certain extent- well better then I, but at a minimum- Men!

Now, this begs the question, "what does it mean to be a Man?"- that's something I need to figure out how to articulate. In my mind it ain't no beer guzzling, foot ball or sport obsessed, grilled meat eating (er, although this is a component of it), womanizing, boob obsessed weenie who lives in fraternal pacts and high five amongst themselves ever time they want to commune in celebrating a moment. Thus I have a goal to draft this out for them.

Before the birth of M1 I hypothesized these rules/guidelines to help me successfully parent and approaching 5-years now, they seem to remain a good azimuth for success:

1. Lead from the Front - this is from my Army Days and it doesn't mean, as folks often translate into being, i.e. is be first, be the best, act happier and more motivated then shiat at all times- essentially be some hyped of caricature of what one envisions a leader to be 24 x 7- ha, ha! Rather, Lead from the front is to just set the example in how you live your life, execute your daily business- end your days being someone you can hopefully respect. Per my deep thoughts of my memories of past- I really wasn't too good at being told what to do and listening and just doing it; everything I picked up was either by seeing a good example and/or being told something, blowing it off- eating a shiat sandwich later and thus learning for myself that I should've listened. At 37, I'm almost at the point where I can take wise words at heart and just avoid screwing up my life to appreciate them. So I don't assume that I can dictate rules to my Boys, consume myself with Teaching them...I just have to live my life right and have experiences with them where I ideally demonstrate what I want them to pick up. This also helps me focus on what I want to enforce to them- essentially, any idea I have per myself I can't live up to, well no sense trying to push those ideas on them.

2. Have a respectful and loving relationship w/ Spousal Unit (SU). This seems obvious, but isn't. I firmly believe having a productive relationship w/ one's SU is more important the the relationship with the respective midgets- this is one of the areas one must live to set an example. This isn't easy, because no matter how much you may love your SU- they will have the amazing ability to piss you the f*ck off to an amazing end at moments, but in the same stride make you incredibly happy. I don't know if Marriage is about compromises. I don't like the idea of compromising...instead I focus on the fact that I'm not perfect either and that I need to be accepting of undesirable differences as the SU is accepting of me. I think if two folks are accepting and not compromising to get along- well, then they have a chance to make it through marriage. Someone once asked me advice about choosing a spousal unit- I offered, "first think of eating, shitting, sleeping with the same freaking person until you DIE! Then think of what is important to make enduring all of that fun and worthwhile. If you can figure that out- then you know what you want out of marriage and may have the perspective to find someone can love long enough so that you wake up enjoying life, rather then wake up and just waiting to die."

3. Finally, spend as much time as feasible with the Family Unit. I figured I'm going to keep my short comings and the only thing I can really do to not screw up my boys is to spend quality time with them. So we try to be home and have a sit down family dinner every night. We have Sunday's designated as Family Adventure day- just try to do fun things as a family and ideally the boys will figure it all out and be right enough to go away and not come back after they are 18- ha, ha! I think my Marriage and Family is relatively healthy at this point because we don't seem to get bored doing all of this stuff. We don't find myself wanting "My Time", "Needing to Get Away" ...

There you go.

Fight-or-Flight.

2008-07-18T02:12:00.001-07:00

Fight-or-Flight, as described by Walter Cannon states that animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing. Life provides many opportunities whether immediate or protracted where the Fight-or-Flight response is triggered in us. It can be issues like dealing with the lack of social and economic opportunities, challenges at work, relationship, unplanned or planned parenthood or the intimate threat of physical harm or acts of violence. How we respond in these situations depends on our perception of self, the world and how ingrained are those perceptions to what we truly value. We all truly value life- but how we define our lives may vary significantly. How we find our lives rewarding, in the end, ultimately- I feel, our perceptions of life become the same. Figuring out and living a life where at the inevitable end you can smile and sigh with a sense of accomplishment and peacefully accept your passing OR panic and regret with a sense of missed opportunities, waste and die fitfully- well, what our last perspective may be is the opportunity we wake up to every day to influence - to fight or flee for the quality of our so called lives.